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Thursday, June 7, 2012

"Now now Johnny" doesn't work

Soap Box Alert!

I was brought up with parents who loved us enough to discipline us...regardless of where we were. I was also brought up in a time when it was socially acceptable to discipline your children and make them behave. Because of that, my parents were able to take us children into public to grown up places and not for one second worry if we would act inappropriately. And if we had a brief moment when we started to get a bit naughty, off to the bathroom we were marched and got a spanking right there. It's how all the children I knew were raised and we all seemed to grow up without any major defects because of it.

Unfortunately, that is not the case anymore. When Johnny is in a restaurant and throwing his food and banging his fork on the table and yelling and running around, mom and dad only say, "Now now Johnny, we don't act like that. Now now Johnny, let's not throw our food at the nice lady. Now now Johnny, if you quit running around and yelling I'll take you for ice cream".

SERIOUSLY??

What happened to the good old days of actions and consequences? When children were taught from a young age what is and is not allowed? When going for ice cream was a treat, not a bribe to stop bad behavior. I am a firm believer that bad behavior should never be rewarded.

I may sound like an old fuddy-duddy here, but what are these children being taught? How are they going to grow up to function in society if they have no concept of right and wrong? If children are not taught young, how will they ever make good choices when they are older? If they have a sense of entitlement, how will they ever understand when things don't go their way~and know how to deal with it?

There seems to be so much anger in younger people. Could it be they were given life on a platter when they were children, and now as they get older, not have a clue how to deal with being told no and not having it all their way?

I'm happy to say not all parents raise up their children this way. My foster daughter is tough on her children..and we can go out in public with no worries. They understand what 'no' means, and the fact that disobeying it comes with consequences. I applaud all parents who still take a firm stance on child rearing.

Another thing that seems to have gone by the wayside is a good old fashioned spanking. Believe me, I had my fair share of them growing up and I am very thankful to my parents for it. Well, I'm thankful now, wasn't so thankful then. We knew if we got too out of line, off to the bathroom we went. My mom only used her hand, never a spoon or belt or switch or any other object. We were never beat, we were never abused. We received spankings and learned right and wrong.

You may be wondering why I am on my soap box today. Well, I can't really say. I don't have any certain event setting me off. I guess it's just a concern for our young people and the effect 'Now Now Johnny' parenting is having on them. How they are not being taught life has boundaries and just because you want something doesn't mean you are going to get it. They are not learning how to cope with rejection.

Please, please, please, if you are the parent of underage children, it's not too late. Please love your children enough to discipline them. This doesn't meant as your children grow into adults, they are going to be perfect people. Nope, not at all. What it does mean is they will have the knowledge in them of right and wrong. They will make choices, not all of them good, but they WILL have knowledge inside of them that can help in those choices. Without this knowledge, they will make choices only on knowing they should always get what they want and there are no consequences for bad behavior.

Soap box talk is over, thank you for listening. (Smile)

2 comments:

  1. Well said, my dear. If only parents would realize that you can't be your chil's friend and their mom or dad. A parents job is to prepare their children for the "real world" not the "fantasy world" so many children live in. What happens when as adults they can't have everything they want? Anger at whoever happens to be around, credit cards maxed out and unable to make payments, thefts, earning illegal "easy money", excessive drinking to forget and I could go on and on, but you get the picture. Each night I pray for today's children...so many are in for a rude awakening.

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